


Drinking Buddies

by ladyblah



Category: Veep
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-23
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-05-03 00:51:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5270375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyblah/pseuds/ladyblah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan and Amy are at the bar, talking things out with the assistance of alcohol.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

“Welcome back from the Wasteland.”  
“Here’s to us, to a job well done – on your part. You were great.” He clinks his glass against hers.  
“I know.”  
“Really great. I mean, not as great as me…”  
“-There it is.” Amy rolls her eyes.  
“-but still great! Don’t take that criticism too hard. I was born to do this job, after all.”  
Amy makes a face – doubtful and unconvinced.  
“Well, thanks for the fucking vote of confidence!”  
“I just don’t think you’re as much like Sidney Purcell as you think you are,” she explains.  
“What are you talking about?”  
“I can’t believe what I’m saying but honestly, you’re too nice for this job.”  
“Not sure if it’s a compliment or an insult…”  
She puts her drink down and stares right at him knowingly.  
“Dan, Jonah told me what you did – with the whole Teddy thing. He said you were the one that made him realize it was sexual harassment and told him it had to stop. You fucking hate Jonah and yet you did that for him.”  
“He was fucking molesting him!”  
“Just admit that you have a conscience. It’s small and shrouded in opportunistic ambition, but it’s there. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone about your soft gooey heart " she starts pinching at his cheeks.  
“Fuck off it!” He snaps, batting her away “I’m going to kill it as a lobbyist”  
“Whatever you say.”  
“You know what I think? You’re jealous.”  
“Of what?"  
“The fact that I have a job with more freedom than working in Selena’s office. That I can come and go and not have 10 different morons to answer to.”  
“Lobbying doesn’t interest me at all, Dan”  
“Oh sure, what’s interesting about making a fuck ton of money and working in an office full of beautiful women”  
“That’s what it always comes back to for you huh – plowing your way through DC.”  
“Can you honestly tell me you see yourself sticking with Selena for the next 5, 10 years? For your sake, I fucking hope not. You could be aiming higher. You SHOULD be aiming higher.”  
“I’m fine where I am.”  
“Where’s that? Working for an erratic world leader who will throw you under the bus the first chance she gets, and sleeping next to Ed, that fucking cadaver with a pulse?”  
“You don’t know anything about it" she spits at him, "and for your information, Ed and I were through ages ago.”  
“Can’t say I’m surprised. Knew you’d get bored of him sooner or later”  
“He dumped me, for the record.” Amy mumbles, for some reason too embarrassed to look him in the eye.  
“What!?” Dan says, a little too strongly that he even surprises himself.  
“Said I was too ‘DC’”  
“Fucking Idiot.” Dan says, matter-of-factly. “Guess it’s not too devastating, don’t imagine he was any less awkward in the bedroom.”  
“Jesus, Dan! In your mind you probably think you were the greatest sex I ever had, that you ruined all other sex for me and that all men pale in comparison to you. You’re such a fucking narcissist!”  
“Well if not the best, jesus fucking christ I hope I’m at least better than Ed!”  
“Guess you’ll never know” she shrugs, and suddenly there’s an awkward silence between them.  
“Come on,” he elbows her, “I’ll tell you where you rank for me. Don’t you wanna know?”  
“Absolutely not.”  
“Why? It’s flattering.”  
“Don’t care. Also, we had sex once so it can’t be that much to go on”  
“Oh you’d be surprised. That little biting thing you do keeps you right near the top.” He winks, and Amy nearly chokes on her drink.  
“Biting? What the fuck are you talking about, I don’t do that!”  
“Yeah you do”  
“I do not!”  
“Yeah you do!”  
“I do not!”  
Dan puts his drink down, a little annoyed now.  
“Amy, I practically still have your fucking teeth marks in my shoulders to prove it.”  
“Well you’ve screwed over half the women in DC so it’s not impossible that you’ve confused me with somebody else – which is very insulting, I might add.”  
“Ames, I know it was you! Remember,” he sidles closer to her, “it was like our third or fourth date and I took you back to mine after dinner at that tacky overpriced seafood restaurant, and you were in a particularly good mood because Selena had just started her antidepressants so was significantly more manageable.”  
Amy tilts her head, watching him carefully.  
“Right!?” he knows she remembers. “And you uh..” Dan shifts closer, looking down at her lap “pushed me backwards onto my sofa as soon as we got inside, and you started slowly peeling your clothes off right in front of me, but you said I couldn’t touch. It was” he closes his eyes “very hot.”  
“I do that on purpose” she whispers, “it’s my power move.”  
Dan raises an eyebrow and flicks her yet another shit eating grin “and you uh…straddled me, wearing just your black bra. No panties”.  
“Dan, I have never not worn panties in my entire life.”  
“Fine," he concedes, "just trying to spice the story up a little bit! But you did straddle me, and things got hot and heavy real fast.”  
“Alright Egan – cut to the chase, this isn’t a letter to Penthouse. What biting?”  
“As you started climaxing, you did the usual stuff – pulling my hair, gasping for breath, moaning my name in my ear” Amy turns away a little in case she’s turning red. “And you started biting down on my neck and shoulder. Not too hard, just hard enough. It was, hands down, one of the sexiest things a girl has ever done to me. And that, Ames, is what keeps you near the top of the list.”  
“You keep saying “near the top” – why am I just near? Why aren’t I the top?”  
Dan smirks and he polishes off his drink. “Because one time at college these two girls went down on me at the back of my political science lecture”  
Amy fake gags, “Why did I ask.”  
“But hey, I know you’re the competitive type Ames so anytime you wanna try beat the top score just let me know” he winks and signals to the bartender for another drink.  
“I am so repulsed to know I’m next to that on your list”  
“Don’t be, it’s a compliment”  
Amy scrunches up her face and orders herself another drink too.  
“So come on, tell me about Ed. Something, anything! It’s killing me here”  
“I can’t even compare you guys, I only had sex with you once and to be honest, I don’t really remember you”  
“Oh you don’t have to be a fucking bitch about it”  
Amy laughing “I’m sorry! It was a while ago!”  
“Fuck you Ames, and after I was so complimentary about you”  
“That wasn’t complimentary!”  
“You don’t remember? That’s such bullshit”  
“Maybe I remember a little. Your trip down memory lane did bring back a few things”  
"Like?"  
“I remember you tasted like tequila”  
"My cum?"  
She hits him hard on the arm and he laughs.  
"I didn’t even go down on you! God, you are such a pig”  
"Just trying to spice the story up a little" he defends, innocently.  
“I meant your mouth! Your mouth tasted like tequila.”  
“And?”  
“And…” she purses her lips, “your shirt was really hard to unbutton. I nearly broke a nail. And your sofa was comfy..."  
He waits to hear more but nothing comes.  
“What, that’s it? Those are the only details you remember?"  
“‘fraid so.”  
“I hate you so much”  
“Now Ed on the other hand,” she let’s out a sigh “now that I remember! Thudding against the headboard, gripping sheets, covered in sweat”  
“Alright that’s enough” he cuts her off, unamused.  
“What, I thought you wanted details? Like how he pinned me down and just went down on me for hours”  
“Amy, shut the fuck up I swear to god”  
“Are you getting jealous, Dan?”  
“Fuck you”  
“Cause it seems like you’re jealous”  
“It’s not jealousy, it’s annoyance. It annoys me that a pale lanky freak was cheating the universe by getting with someone as sexy as you. 2s are not meant to get with 10s, it's like the laws of physics.”  
“You think I’m a 10?” She teases.  
“Don’t get cute, you know you’re gorgeous” he adds dismissively.  
“A compliment? From Dan Egan? I’ll add that to the list of nice shit you’ve been doing lately. Better hope Sidney Purcell doesn’t find out.”  
“What does Ed have? Seriously?”  
“Dan” Amy groans, bored by the conversation “I don’t wanna talk about this”  
“I just wanna know! What was the appeal?”  
“Ed was…” Amy looks around the bar as if searching for answer “nice”  
“Nice?”  
“He was nice, and sometimes that’s what you need in DC after a day surrounded by vindictive and sweary white house staff.”  
“But you said I’m nice, too.”  
“Yeah, but not like, NICE nice.”  
“For fuck’s sake, now I’m nice but not nice enough? You’re really busting my balls tonight, Ames.”  
“Why do you care if I think you’re nice anyway? It’s not like we’re ever gonna go down that road again.”  
“You never know.”  
“No, I do know, and it’s never going to happen.”  
“Amy, if I had a nickel for every time a girl said that to me-”  
“-You could pay for your herpes treatment?”  
“I wouldn’t rule it out, is all I’m saying”  
“I can’t tell if you’re serious.”  
“Would it really be the worst thing that ever happened?”  
“It might, yeah.”  
“You’re saying you didn’t enjoy it the first time?”  
“Jesus, Dan, you really wanna pull at that thread? You wanna dig that up?”  
“What?”  
“Dan, you know I enjoyed the first time. In my pathetic, starry eyed, naïve brain I interpreted your sociopathic tendencies as confident charm. But that was before I knew what you were. It couldn’t work between us, even in a hypothetical.”  
Dan watches her carefully. “You seem very sure about that.”  
“More sure than anything. We’re too different, or too similar, I don’t know. It just won’t work.”  
“It worked once.” He catches her gaze and refuses to let it go.  
“It worked once for about 10 days, Dan. Maybe if you were less of a sociopath and I were less strong willed…anyway, water under the bridge.”  
“See, I’m not so sure.”  
“Well you should be, considering you were the one who ended it."  
“Amy, come on”  
“What? You wanted to talk about it so now we’re talking about it.”  
“It wasn’t like that!”  
“What was it like then?”  
“I liked dating you too!”  
She scoffs, “yeah, for a week until some girl with bigger tits caught your eye.” She stares him down, a smile playing on her lips. “Am I wrong?”  
“Maybe that’s true - but that was the old me!”  
“Oh please, as if anything has changed. When was the last time you had sex?”  
He mumbles something.  
“What was that?”  
“2 days ago.”  
“There you go.”  
“Meaningless sex doesn’t count! I’m talking about the real stuff, when there’s a girl who’s… different. Whatever. The old me would’ve found that a total turn off but now… to be honest, it sounds kinda nice. So when I hear about Ed who had you and threw it away… frankly, I think he’s a fucking idiot.”  
“Maybe that makes two of you then.”  
He looks up at her, eyes heavy lidded. “Maybe.” And for maybe the third time in all the while she's known him, she feels like he's being honest with her. The least she could do is be the same.  
“Well…if you must know, perhaps the door to you isn’t closed completely…” half of her knowing she shouldn't tell him this.  
“Really?” He says, a little in disbelief.  
“Or at the very least, it’s closed, but not locked. Whatever that means”  
“Good to know.”  
He hasn't taken his eyes off her for a few minutes and she doesn’t like the way he’s staring at her, or that she can feel herself staring back the same way. She breaks their locked gaze and pulls herself together.  
“I think it’s time to go home”  
“Mine or yours?”  
“Very funny” she throws some money on the bar as he slips on his coat. He helps her put on her own as they walk out of the bar and he lingers his hand on her waist. She doesn’t brush him away.  
“Share an uber?” he asks.  
“I’ll get my own cab thanks.”  
“Don’t be stupid, we live in the same suburb.”  
“We’ve also been drinking and I know by now that getting in cars with flirtatious boys late at night after copious amounts of tequila is not a good idea.”  
“I’ll keep my hands to myself, I swear” he holds them up as if at gunpoint.  
“It’s not you I’m worried about” she mumbles, barely audible for him to hear, but he does and smiles to himself as he opens the door for her cab.  
“Wait wait wait, Amy” he pleads, pulling at her arm “do you seriously not remember that night at all?”  
She rolls her eyes, leaning over the door until their faces are an inch apart. She has to tilt her head up awkwardly since he’s so much taller, and she leans to whisper in his ear “I remember your tongue on my neck, the moan you made when you felt how soaking wet I was with your fingers, right before I slid onto you, having you fill me completely” Dan gulps, feeling her breath on his neck, “and you fucked me, so hard and slow, and I was literally begging you to make me come because I thought I would pass out, and you just went harder and faster until I came so. Fucking. Hard against you, arching my back and-” she gently bites his earlobe. His mouth falls open and he has to hold onto the door just to steady himself. Amy leans back and stares at him with those big baby blues of hers, innocently as if nothing had happened.  
“Night, Dan.”  
She climbs in the back seat and pulls the door closed. He watches her leave and gets mad at himself for letting her do it, again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU of S05E03 Ne-vah-da

“You know, as much as I resisted this trip I have to say it’s nice to get out of DC for a bit." She throws back the rest of her drink and orders another for herself and Dan.  
“Guess we better enjoy the relaxing hotel life while we can” he smirks, “Well, as much as we can with your trailer park sister hanging around anyway.”  
This is the first time all evening either of them has acknowledged what happened, or was about to happen, at Amy’s room. For a split second she considers not telling him of the new arrangement.  
“I got Sophie her own room.” she blurts out, louder than she meant and against her better judgment. Almost immediately, a smile starts to pull at Dan’s lips.  
“Really…” he says, “so it’s just little ol’ you in that big ol’ room..”  
“Dan, stop.”  
“What?”  
She feels fifteen again, unable to even make eye contact with him like an adult. She can feel the heat rushing to her cheeks and is mortified, flirting with someone who she knows is bad for her.  
“Don’t act all innocent, Ames. You’re the one who kicked your sister out. Must’ve had a reason”  
“Because she’s the worst. I should’ve just asked you to do it since you have a lot of experience throwing girls out of your room.”  
“Hey, I don’t throw anyone out, I just drop as many hints as possible that I want them to leave until they feel so bad that they do it of their own accord.”  
“You are the definition of the boy that mothers warn their daughters about.”  
“Yeah, is that what your mom said to you?” He flashes that shit-eating grin of his.  
“Please, my mother loves you. It’s sickening. You could hit her with your car and she’d still be trying to convince me to bear your children.”  
“Really? I never got that from her. I was always thought it was your dad who liked me best. He offered to take me out power boating with him.”  
“In that case, it seems like it’s 3-kids-by-2-dads-Sophie who has the best judgement when it comes to you.”  
“No way – she propositioned me.”  
“What?”  
“Yeah, remember - it was on Thanksgiving when you went to help you mom in the kitchen and Sophie came upstairs into your room and offered to help me get dressed. Or undressed, really.”  
“You never told me that!”  
“Weird, I thought I did.”  
“Well since she tried to fuck my boyfriend, I really don’t feel bad about kicking her out of my room tonight.”  
“So to recap: your mom loves me, your dad loves me, your sister loves me…seems like its in the Brookheimer DNA to want a piece of Danny boy. Maybe it’s time you give into your baser urges Ame.”  
“The same base urges that let me eat hummus with a pen cap? I don’t think so.”  
“All I’m saying is… do you need me to check if your key card is working again?”  
“Could you be any more smug?”  
He’s grinning and looking her up and down, and seems to be slowly inching himself closer.  
“Dan, stop looking at me like that.”  
“Like what?”  
“Like I’m giving you a lap dance.”  
“Ugggh, WHY was your sister there, Ames!?”  
“I don’t know. Probably for the best though, right.”  
“No. not right.”  
“What did you think was gonna happen?”  
“That we’d take a stroll down memory lane. A naked, sweaty stroll-”  
“-where you skip the foreplay – your signature move – then fool around with me for 15 minutes before you say something shitty to me, either intentionally or unintentionally, and I slap you, swear at you and throw you into the hall naked.”  
“Hey, that still sounds like a pretty good night. Let’s do it.”  
He grabs her hand and starts leading her away  
“Dan! Stop…”  
She pushes him away but is too short to really fight him off, barely reaching his shoulders. He’s looking down at her, his eyes and voice softening.  
“Come on Ames,” he nudges her with his elbow, “lose some of that self control. Make a bad decision. It’ll be fun” he whispers.  
“I’m…gonna go back to that room. I’ll see you later.”  
“Alright, let me walk you up.”  
He drops one arm around her and leads her to the door. He’s finding any excuse to touch her. She shrugs him off.  
“Thanks but that’s not a good idea.”  
“You’re not giving an inch, huh.”  
“Goodnight, Dan.”

 

2.25am  
AMY Nightcap?

2.33am  
AMY U up?

2.35am  
AMY Nightcap?

2.48am  
AMY Nightcap?

2.52am  
AMY Where are you?

2.56am  
AMY Nightcap?

Suddenly her phone starts vibrating. He’s calling her.

“Hey” she answers sheepishly.  
“Hey, yourself.” Oh shit, he sounds sleepy.  
“Did I wake you?”  
“It’s 3 in the morning Ames, what do you think?”  
“Shit, sorry.”  
“Don’t be sorry. But now that I’m up you gotta make it worth my while. What’s up?”  
“Nothing.”  
“Nothing? Jesus, Ames, 6 text messages at 3 in the morning you gotta to better than that.”  
“I can’t sleep.”  
“Don’t be cute.”  
“What?”  
“You can sleep, that’s not what this is.”  
She doesn’t say anything. He tries again:  
“You want me to come over?”  
“-Do you have that red binder Kent sent over with the polling numbers?”  
She hears him laughing softly.  
“Or we can watch a movie?”  
“Amy, if I’m coming into your bedroom at 3 in the morning it’s not to watch television next to you. What else you got?”  
“Are you bartering with me?”  
“Just seeing what else is on offer.”  
“Hey, if you’re not interested I can take this conversation elsewhere.”  
“You won’t though.”  
“What makes you so sure?”  
“Because you’re texting me at 3 in the morning instead of sleeping or masturbating to porn like a normal person. Shall I bring the tequila?”  
“There’s no tequila in the minibars, I already checked.”  
“Well, that’s a damn shame.”  
“I shouldn’t have texted you.”  
“No, you shouldn’t. I’m coming over.”  
“No! Don’t!”  
“Why the fuck not?”  
“I don’t know. I haven’t decided yet.”  
“Didn’t you decide the second you hit ‘send’ to me? Where did you think this conversation was gonna go?”  
“We should get some sleep. Separately, in our own beds.”  
“Why don’t you come sleep over here. For real. I won’t try anything I swear – promise to be a good little boy and keep my hands to myself. But if you’re gonna be a cocktease all night I’d rather you didn’t blast up my phone and keep me awake.”  
“Dan, I’m not…”  
“-Just come here. Don’t make this weird.”  
“I can’t believe I’m in this position, with you of all people.”  
“What does that mean?” His voice has an edge now.  
“I’ve got to stop doing this. I’ve got to find a nice, boring man who isn’t morally bankrupt and ‘DC’. I need to find someone in middle management, who cooks me dinner every night and sends me flowers on my birthday.”  
“You don’t want that. Guys like that, guys like fuckin’ Ed, they don’t know what to do with you.”  
“And you do?”  
“You’re stalling.”  
“Hypothetically…”  
He sighs. “If this is phone sex, you’re really bad at it.”  
“Let’s say I wander over the hall and spend the night, and we have a good time”  
“An amazing time. A tie-you-to-the-bed-and-not-stop-until-you’ve-soaked-it-through, kind of time.”  
She blushes and continues “Then what? We just go back to work tomorrow with tweedle dee and tweedle dick as if nothing happened?”  
“Sure, or we could the same thing the next night. And the night after that.”  
“At what point does it become dating? Oh, I know – the point when you freak out and avoid me or cheat on me or do something else stupid.”  
“Amy, what do you want me to say? I like you, and I really really want to fuck you. Tonight, preferably. I have ever since we got on the plane to come here, again when we checked in, and I sure as shit knew when we came back to our rooms earlier. I’m not gonna change my mind. So when you make up yours, I’m here.”  
“Dan”  
“-I’m gonna get some sleep. I’ll leave my door unlocked, just in case you…wanna watch a movie or something.”  
“Or something.”  
“Night, Ames”  
“See you in the morning.”

Before they each hang up, there’s a moment where a couple usually say I love you. Theirs remains silent.


End file.
